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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27451111">Tell me you see it too</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, F/M, Female Hange Zoë, Reincarnation, aot ch 132, ch132, levihan - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 16:20:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,279</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27451111</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Because a lifetime is not enough.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Levi/Hange Zoë</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>244</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Maybe I'll see you in another life</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>She can feel it, the heat licking at her cape, the fire engulfing every inch of the clothing, at the skin of her shoulders and back of her torso. The flames spread rapidly across her body and the wheezing wind certainly didn't help with her current predicament. She screamed, it's so hot that it's almost unbearable but she has a job to do. With iron determination, she slashed her blades at the nape of another Colossal Titan before the grip on her gear loosened, her fingers too burnt to keep holding on to her blades.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She fell.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The last thing she heard was her body slamming painfully on the concrete, the sound of her bones breaking and the rumbling of the ground underneath her body.</em>
</p><hr/><p>Hange's eyes snapped open with a gasp, taking in the blurred white ceiling and the sound of her phone's alarm blaring in the silence of the room. She lay still for a moment, her chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath. She can feel her heart beating wildly inside her chest, her fingers clawing at the sheets of her bed. With a start, she realized that she was drenched in sweat, her blanket damp to the touch. She sat up, threw her blanket to the floor and took off her drenched shirt, somewhat relieved to see that the fabric was still whole and not charred. Unsatisfied, she reached for her back, sighing when she felt no burns, no pain, no welts on her skin as she tried to comprehend her wild dream. She reached for her glasses and turned off her alarm. Once she regained control of her breathing, she fell back on her bed and ran her hand down her face.</p><p>
  <em>What the hell was that?</em>
</p><hr/><p>"Good morning, Levi!" she greeted her friend and co-worker as she sat down on her cubicle in front of him, putting down the cup of coffee that she bought from across their building.</p><p>"First day of the week and you're already late, shitty glasses," he replied as a greeting, his eyes still glued on the computer screen in front of him and his fingers continued to dance across the keyboard.</p><p>She shrugged, "Yeah, sorry about that. Had a really strange dream," she said as she turned her desktop on, "Hey, Levi, wanna hear about it?" she asked with an excited grin as she waited for her unit to boot.</p><p>"You're gonna tell me, anyway, so sure," he replied in a monotone, his hand dragging the mouse across the wooden desk.</p><p>She chuckled, "Yeah, you're right. Well, it went like this: I was flying – or was I gliding? I'm not so sure, dream's kinda hazy – and I was holding some sort of spears, but they were really heavy! Like, crush-your-shoulder heavy! And then I was flying right? And I was facing these enormous beings, like really huge beings!"</p><p>She logged in her credentials, unaware of the way that the man in front of her had stopped what he was doing, his eyes wide and unseeing at the screen of his monitor and his hand hovering above his mouse, unmoving.</p><p>She continued as she clicked on the online attendance system, "They're so big, I can't even begin to describe to you how big they are. Our building's 20 floors, right? These creatures were almost as tall as this building and there's so many of them! I'm facing, like, a hundred of them! And they… they look <em>terrifying. </em>They're only skeletons and bones and muscles and no skin on their bodies, but I'm charging in, like I <em>need </em>to fight them. I got close enough to them to feel the heat of their bodies then I threw one of my spears at the nape of one. But, listen! Here's the exciting thing: they're not just spears, they're <em>exploding</em> spears! They exploded when they stuck on the muscle of the creature!"</p><p>She paused for a while, thinking about the apparent mechanism of the weapon – that her dream self –used.</p><p>"Continue," Levi said quietly, trying to feign disinterest.</p><p>Hange snapped out of her daze and grinned, triumphant. She can see right through his words, "Oh, so I have your attention now, clean freak? Anyway, the explosive spear worked and the monster fell down, so I used the other spear on another creature. I was out of spears so I had to use these… swords? I'm not sure what to call them but they did look like swords. I don't know how but I somehow <em>knew</em> that I should attack their napes, so that's what I did. But I got to close too them and it burned the cloak that I was wearing."</p><p>She paused again and she can almost feel the flames dancing across her back, the agonizing and indescribable pain as her skin burnt. With robotic fingers, she opened the programs that she needed for work.</p><p>"In my dream, I can really feel the fire. Like I was really burning and I couldn't do anything about it," she said in a quiet tone, which, as Levi already knew, is unlike her, "I can't go down and assess myself because I have to stop these creatures. I have to… delay their progress, I guess? And I have to take down as many as I can. So that's what I did: I took down another one of them before I fell. And that's it. That's my crazy dream," she finished and stared blankly at the excel document that she just opened. She did have a few strange dreams aside from this but this one really takes the cake. It was graphic, vivid and borderline realistic that she can still see snippets of it behind her lids every time she closes her eyes.</p><p>"Hey, four-eyes," a low voice said in front of her. She snapped her eyes up and saw Levi looking down at her with those piercing blue-gray eyes. He must be standing up since his shadow loomed over her unit and his hand was resting on the wooden partition that separates their desks.</p><p>"What is it, shorty?" she retorted with a grin. His stare turned into a glare at her height-related jab.</p><p>"You know very well that I can throw you out that window, shitty glasses."</p><p>She waved her hand dismissively, "Whatever. What were you going to say?"</p><p>"Your shitty lifestyle is probably affecting your brain already," he said in a monotone.</p><p>Hange blinked, "Huh?"</p><p>He sighed in exasperation, "Do you need to get your ears checked?" he asked rhetorically, "Eat lunch and dinner and try to get a full night of sleep. You're probably staying up so late that your brain is starting to get as shitty as your eye sight."</p><p>She stared at Levi for a moment before a teasing grin formed on her lips, "Aww, Levi. Are you worried about me?"</p><p>"Tch, I knew you're not gonna listen," he replied and sat back down, his head disappearing behind the partition once again. This time, Hange stood up and looked over the barrier. The short man glared at her, who was still grinning.</p><p>"Don't worry, Levi!" she teased, "I'll try not to overwork and do my homework quickly tonight!"</p><p>He huffed, which is his own version of a snort, "Whatever you say, four-eyes."</p><hr/><p>Turns out that she wouldn't be able to eat lunch at all.</p><p>Due to the retirement of their Senior Manager of the Finance and Accounting department, their manager, Erwin Smith, was chosen as the suitable person to take over the position. With the announcement of his new position, Erwin was also tasked of announcing the new manager of their department and he chose Hange.</p><p>"Erwin," she said once they're in the privacy of his office which will, apparently, soon be hers, "I don't understand. Why did you choose me? You know I'm messy and disorganized and a tiny bit crazy, so why choose me as a manager?"</p><p>Erwin smiled as he pulled out papers and folders that Hange needed to go through. He had to keep her in his office for the remainder of the day to let her see how to handle the new workload and responsibility of being a manager.</p><p>"Because you're the best one out there who is suited for this job," he said as he laid out the papers on his desk.</p><p>"But I'm still studying!"</p><p>"You survived working for more than two years while taking your masters' degree. I'm sure you'll manage working as a manager and studying for you doctorate program," he tried to reassure her.</p><p>"B-but what about Mike? Or Levi? Aren't they more suitable for-!"</p><p>"You're smart, Hange," he interjected with an exasperated smile before she can go on a tirade, "You can easily learn something new and you're adaptable to your environment. You've been here in this company for almost six years so you're pretty well known among the employees, you're known by our associates and some of our business partners and have an idea on how to manage the team. You remain calm under pressure and find a solution to a problem when no one else can. Your mindset is on how to improve the company without undercompensating our staff.</p><p>"Sure, Mike and Levi are both very professional and made great accomplishments for the company. But, let's face it, Hange, Mike is a little too quiet when faced with our clients and Levi's language is a little too… colorful, for lack of better words. Aside from the concerns regarding our clients, I always thought that a requirement of a manager is the unyielding desire for understanding their employees. So, I decided that the next manager of Finance and Accounting department, Hange Zoë, is you."</p><p>He finished his statement with a smile but Hange was no longer paying attention as her eyes glued itself on the wall behind Erwin. There's something about his words that made her mind race. It seems like she <em>remembers </em>those words. Well, not exactly but it's almost the same concept, almost the same words and, eerily, the same voice.</p><p>… <em>the next commander of the Survey Corps, Hange Zoë, is you.</em></p><p>She frowned and brought a hand up to her left temple. The words are still ringing in her ear, imprinting itself in her mind and began to replay in her head. Why… <em>why </em>in the world would she be a commander? What the hell is the <em>Survey Corps</em>? And why did she hear it clearly in <em>Erwin's </em>voice?</p><p>She closed her eyes for a moment to try and ward off the headache that she's already beginning to feel. Instead of respite, however, the stinging behind her left eyebrow worsened. When she closed her eyes, she saw Erwin struggling to put on a green coat with some sort of blue and white emblem on the back. There was another person beside her but the image was beginning to turn hazy as someone shook her shoulder.</p><p>"…nge. Hange, are you alright?"</p><p>She opened her eyes and turned to look at the hand shaking her. Her eyes met the concerned, blue orbs of Erwin, who's now standing beside her.</p><p>"Erwin? Wha-?"</p><p>"I should ask you that," he replied cautiously, his hand slipping from her shoulder, "What happened to you? Are you sick? Do you need to take the rest of the day off?"</p><p>She shook her head, both to decline his generous offer and in an attempt to clear her mind of the images and the voices and the words that had stuck itself in her head. She has work to do and she had to focus now more than ever.</p><p>"No, Erwin. I-I'm alright. Don't worry about it," she replied almost breathlessly and smiled, which she hoped is reassuring. She doesn't need him to fuzz over her now.</p><p>He furrowed his bushy brows, "You sure you're alright?"</p><p>She waved her hand dismissively, "Yeah, Erwin, I'm fine. So, what do I need to know about this job?"</p><p>He studied her for a moment longer before he began her briefing.</p><hr/><p>They both didn't notice the time passing while Erwin was helping her study the responsibilities of her new position that, when Hange's stomach growled, it was already 6:30 in the evening and she's running late for her night class at the university.</p><p>"Shit!" she cursed as she gathered her belongings from her desk. Levi was already gone from his cubicle and Erwin still had a lot to do in his office, so she excused herself from the blond and hurriedly took the elevator to the ground floor.</p><p>She ran to the bus stop, only to miss it by a few seconds. She huffed and tried her hardest not to kick the shed. She thought of taking a taxi but she didn't bring any extra cash with her. She sighed in frustration and ran a hand down her face. Hange already had two tardy slips from her professor; a third one will count as an absence already and she <em>cannot</em> afford to have that kind of record.</p><p>Just then, a black Civic stopped in front of her. She started to grin as she recognized the car and walked closer to the passenger door. The window rolled down and showed Levi's scowling face.</p><p>"Picking up someone, short-stuff?" she asked with a teasing grin.</p><p>He rolled his eyes, "Just get the fuck inside, shitty glasses."</p><p>She giggled and opened the door. As she was putting on the seatbelt, a small paper bag was tossed in her lap. She looked at it quizzically.</p><p>"You didn't eat yet, four eyes," he said as a way of explanation and started the car, going in the direction of the university.</p><p>"Aww, thanks shorty! I never knew you were concerned for me!" she teased and opened the paper bag. Inside was three different sandwiches that he bought from a convenience store. She reached for one and eagerly tore it open.</p><p>"I'm gonna drop you off here," he threatened.</p><p>She chuckled and bit off a large chunk of the sandwich, "I know you love me, short stack."</p><p>He groaned, "Four eyes, I swear to god, I'm going to fucking kick you out. Literally."</p><p>She gasped and put a hand on her chest in a dramatic manner, "Is that a way to talk to your longest childhood best friend?!"</p><p>He smirked, "I still have Mike, you know."</p><p>"You would replace your best friend?!"</p><p>"If said best friend wouldn't shut the hell up."</p><p>"You're the worst."</p><p>"Really? I thought I'm the 'best friend'?"</p><p>She couldn't help it and she finally giggled, putting the last bit of the sandwich in her mouth and opening another. She can eat the last one as a dinner later.</p><p>Being friends with Levi is one of the easiest things in the world for Hange. Sure, he can be crass and a little too blunt for others but she likes the honesty in his words, the fact that she's the only person who can understand his language (which she dubbed as 'Levi slang') and they share the same love for poop humor. Their banter is, undoubtedly, the only highlight of Hange's day today.</p><p>"Oi, Hange, drink some water or you'll choke," he ordered, his eyes focused on the road.</p><p>She bit her sandwich then rummaged through her bag, searching for her purple tumbler only to find it missing. She blinked in confusion and groaned when she recalled that she placed it on Erwin's desk earlier and she probably forgot it there.</p><p>"Do you have any?" she said, making puppy dog eyes even though his eyes were focused on the road.</p><p>"Tch, you left it at the office, didn't you?"</p><p>She pouted, "I forgot it on Erwin's desk, okay?"</p><p>He swerved to the right, "Tumbler's on the compartment."</p><p>She eagerly opened his glove compartment and immediately saw his green tumbler.</p><p>"This is water, right? Not tea?" she asked apprehensively. She didn't like tea with her sandwich.</p><p>"It's not. Go ahead before you choke. I don't know how to do that Heimlich or whatever shit it is that you're always blabbering about," he responds.</p><p>She opened the bottle and drank several gulps of the very needed water. Hange had never been one of germs-and-cooties kind of person and Levi, despite being a clean freak, had long ago learned that he couldn't stop his friend from drinking from his <em>own </em>tumbler and using his utensils (much to his chagrin).</p><p>The brunette let out a satisfied sigh as she screwed the cap back on the bottle, putting it back on the compartment and resumed eating her sandwich.</p><p>"Hey, I never got to tell you," he spoke, making her look at him with the sandwich still between her teeth, "Erwin told Mike and I that we're going to be team leaders once you started as the manager. Also, congratulations on your promotion."</p><p>She squealed, her mind caught up on the fact her two friends are being promoted as well, "Levi! Congratulations for the two of you!"</p><p>"Lower your voice, four eyes! I think my fucking eardrums just exploded!" he complained.</p><p>She laughed, "I'm just so happy for you! Congratulations, Levi!"</p><p>He snorted, "You are promoted too, Hange."</p><p>"Hey! What about, this weekend, we go out with our friends for a celebration?" she exclaimed, her brown eyes shining in excitement.</p><p>He shrugged, "Tell them. I'm sure they want that."</p><p>"Yeah! We'll bring Mike, Nanaba, Moblit and Erwin – Hey, Levi! I was meaning to tell you this earlier but its kind of slipped from my mind because I was kept in Erwin's office and then you were gone from the building when I came out and then -!"</p><p>"Get over it, shitty glasses. What do you want to say?"</p><p>She swallowed the last bit of her food and began talking, "Yeah, well, something… weird happened to me while I was in Erwin's office."</p><p>He glanced at her, obviously intrigued, "Oh?"</p><p>She took it as an invitation to continue, "Uh-huh. Well, I was trying to argue with Erwin about my promotion because… you know… I never thought I'd be enough to fill his position. I even tried to get him to choose between you and Mike! But then he said something really inspirational –"</p><p>"That sounds like Erwin, alright," he quipped.</p><p>" – and convincing me that I was suitable for the job and the whole shenanigans but a part of what he said really stuck in my head. He said '<em>the next manager of Finance and Accounting department, Hange Zoë, is you</em>' and… well, I don't really know what happened to me. I was hearing words inside my head that sounded almost similar with what Erwin said. And the thing is, I can <em>hear </em>those words being said with Erwin's voice."</p><p>She looked down at her lap, remembering the way her head throbbed at the experience, "The words were '<em>the next commander of the Survey Corps, Hange Zoë, is you.'"</em></p><p>"You're delusional," he commented, his eyes looking darker than usual.</p><p>Hange looked out the window, "Maybe. But the strange part is, when I closed my eyes, I saw Erwin but it's… something's different. Were in a different room with only candles to keep it lit. He's wearing a green coat with a blue and white logo on the back – I don't really know how to describe it but kinda looked like wings to me – and he's looking at me expectantly. There's another person beside me but – "</p><p>"Oi."</p><p>" – I can't really make the person out anymore because everything's getting blurry and confusing and – "</p><p>"Shitty glasses."</p><p>" – my head's starting to pound and I was actually thankful when Erwin started to shake me and – "</p><p>"Hange!" he said sharply.</p><p>She stopped her tirade and looked at the man beside her. His face was set in a scowl and his blue gray eyes were glaring harshly at the road. His shoulders were obviously tensed and his grip on the wheel was hard enough that his knuckles had turned white.</p><p>She looked at him in concern, brows furrowed in confusion, "What's the matter, Levi?"</p><p>He let out a breath, "We're almost at the uni," he said in a softer tone.</p><p>She looked forward, "Oh!" she gasped and began to gather her things. She put her trash in her bag, knowing that the man beside her will throw a fit if she ever left a speck of dirt in his car.</p><p>Levi parked in front of the gate and she immediately unbuckled the seatbelt. She only had five minutes left to run to her classroom.</p><p>"Thanks for the ride, Levi! And the sandwich! And the water!" she said once she was free and opened the door.</p><p>"Four eyes, wait."</p><p>She turned her face back to him, one foot already out of the door and her hand holding the door handle. His face was a blank mask, unreadable, but she can see the underlying concern swimming in his eyes.</p><p>"Eat proper food later and don't stay up late. It's probably the stress getting to you," he said in a monotone but Hange can recognize the genuine concern and worry in his words.</p><p>She grinned, "No promises, Levi, but I'll try!" with that, she dashed out of his car and slammed the door, missing the way he closed his eyes tightly in exasperation.</p><hr/><p>
  <em>She was watched as Bertholdt went higher, higher than anticipated and she felt the ball of fear rise up from her chest as the reason occurred to her.</em>
</p><p>"<em>He's going up! Don't tell me…" she muttered.</em></p><p>"<em>But I thought Reiner was right over there!" Moblit yelled behind her.</em></p><p>
  <em>Her eyes widened, "Quick, get out of here!" she ordered the soldiers around her, hoping that they didn't hear the quiver in her voice, but it was already too late.</em>
</p><p><em>Everywhere around them glowed as Bertholdt transformed and Hange thought '</em>This is it. I'm going to die in an explosion.'</p><p>"<em>Hange-san!" Moblit yelled and pushed her down when the explosion happened. She turned, seeing the absolute worry and fear on her loyal assistant's face as she started to fall. All round them, rocks and debris started to fly as the force of the explosion began to blow up the houses in Shiganshina. Her eyes widened and she opened her mouth to scream, to say something to Moblit, but her voice failed her and the words got stuck in her throat. She watched, helpless, as Moblit was caught in the blast. Then a stone hit the left lens of her goggles and she can feel the shattered glasses that entered her eye.</em></p><p>
  <em>She fell and she was then enveloped in darkness.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>When she woke up, she found that she can't even open her left eye anymore but she could worry about that later. She had an objective and that is to find Moblit and the other soldiers. She shot the hooks of her gear near the lip of the well that she had fallen into and, in a second, her eye took in the destruction that was caused by Bertholdt's transformation. And with that, she knew that her loyal assistant had died saving her life.</em>
</p><hr/><p>Her eyes opened to the brightness of her room, her breaths coming in and out of her lungs in rapid succession, panting from her nightmare. She blinked and was surprised when she felt a tear roll down her cheek. She sat up and wiped hand over her face, her fingers coming away wet. She then touched her left eyelid, relieved to feel no blood nor pain on her eye. She closed her eyes and buried her face in her hands.</p><p>
  <em>What the fuck was that?!</em>
</p><p>Her eyes snapped open again and she reached for her eye glasses and her phone from the bedside table. She searched for his name from her contacts and dialed the number, bringing the phone to her ear. She's not a superstitious person but she has to know, she has to…</p><p>"Hello?" a groggy voice said from the other line.</p><p>She heaved a great sigh of relief and resisted the urge to cry out loud. <em>He's okay. Moblit is fine.</em></p><p>"Hey… Hange? You okay?" his voice sounded worried and she had to swallow several times to relieve the tightening of her throat.</p><p>"Y-yeah, Moblit. I'm fine," she mumbled.</p><p>There's rustling from the other side, "Are you sure, Hange?" he asked, sounding more alert now, "Why are calling at… four in the morning?"</p><p>She chuckled and fell back on her bed, "Yeah, I'm sorry for waking you up Mob! But… I do need to ask you for something."</p><p>"Hmm? What is it?"</p><p>She smiled and tried to forget the Moblit from her dream, the way he looked so worried and concerned and not at all afraid for his own safety.</p><p>"Can you please, <em>please </em>be my assistant for my impending managerial takeover?"</p><p>She didn't even need to ask him twice.</p><hr/><p>Hange sifted through the folders and papers that Erwin had given her, trying to find that particular document that contains the complete list of their affiliates. It's not for her but Erwin accidently included this document among her 'reviewers'. She started to curse and some papers even fell off her desk.</p><p>"If only you keep the things at your desk organized, shitty glasses," the man working across from hers droned for the nth time.</p><p>"Shut up, midget!" she snapped and he snorted. She reached down to pick up the fallen papers when a hand beat her to it. She sat up, a pale hand giving her the papers and she looked up at the ocean blue eyes of a teen.</p><p>Her eyes widened, "Armin… Arlert?" she said breathlessly.</p><p>The blond teen blinked in confusion, "You… already know me?"</p><p>She opened her mouth but no words came out, "I…"</p><p><em>How </em>did she know him? She honestly… can't say… how…</p><p>"I'm a new intern here, um… what should I call you?" the teen asked.</p><p>"Just call me Hange," she mumbled, eyes still wide.</p><p>"Okay… Hange. I just started as an intern here today with my friends. How did you know my name?" Armin inquired; his brows furrowed quizzically.</p><p>
  <em>Eren and Mikasa?</em>
</p><p>She looked down at her lap, her mouth opening and closing helplessly. How did she know his name? Who the hell is Eren and Mikasa? What the fuck is happening to her?</p><p>"Anyway, Mr. Smith is looking for the list. May I ask if you have it already?" he requested politely.</p><p>She looked up at him and finally answered, "Please tell him that I'll give it to him once I find it," she mumbled.</p><p>Armin nodded and turned back towards Erwin's office. Hange stared at his retreating back, still in a daze.</p><p>"Hey, four eyes," Levi spoke, bringing her back to reality. She turned her head and saw him peaking over the partition of their desk, "What the hell was that?"</p><p>She looked down at the papers scattered on her desk and, for once, had no answer for him.</p><p>
  <em>What the hell was that, indeed.</em>
</p><hr/><p>"Congratulations, guys!" Nanaba greeted as they all clinked their glasses together.</p><p>Hange cheered and took two big gulps of her beer, putting the bottle down on the table with a thud.</p><p>"Thank you, Nanaba!" she exclaimed, wiping her lips with the back of her hand. Levi merely grunted and Mike gave Nanaba's head a pat. From the other table, Moblit and Gelgar was locked in a drinking competition while Nifa, Keiji, Abel and Rashad all took videos of the silly game that the two were playing. Petra, Auruo, Eld and Gunther was cheering for either Moblit or Gelgar and placing bets on who would win.</p><p>Erwin put his bottle down, "It's been a while since we all did this."</p><p>That's true. They've been so busy with work recently that the last time that they had a good time like this was three months ago. Erwin's father had let them rent his bar for the night at a discounted rate and Erwin, Levi, Hange and Mike all agreed to pool their money to bring their friends in the bar as a celebration for their respective promotions.</p><p>"That's because you're such a workaholic, Eyebrows," Nanaba teased, making Hange laugh.</p><p>"Hey! Don't bring my eyebrows into this!"</p><p>"Whatever you say, Senior Manager," Nanaba replied with a smirk.</p><p>Erwin's smile decreased in size, "That will take some time to get used to."</p><p>"Ugh, don't remind me," Hange groaned and took a drink. She still can't get over the fact that, in two weeks' time, most people in the F&amp;A department will start calling her <em>Manager.</em></p><p>Erwin nodded empathically, "You'll get used to it, Hange. The employees would like to respect you and they will surely want to start by calling you <em>that</em>."</p><p>She pouted, "Can't they just call me by my name?"</p><p>Levi lit a cigarette, taking a long drag and exhaling towards the floor so as to not cloud the vision of his friends, "I can still call you 'shitty glasses'."</p><p>She grinned, "Aww! Thanks, midget!"</p><p>He blew a smoke ring towards her direction as a retaliation.</p><p>Mike frowned, his nose wrinkling in disgust, "Manners, Ackerman."</p><p>"You think I have any?"</p><p>"I'm <em>hoping."</em></p><p>"Then keep dreaming, giant."</p><p>Hange laughed heartily at their banter. With her recent nightmares, new position and upcoming thesis defense, her life had gotten so hectic and stressful that she sometimes forgets to eat a meal for an entire day; she also had to pull a few all-nighters in preparation for her defense and it's nice to just have fun and lighten up with her friends. She stole the cigarette from Levi's hand and took a long drag, exhaling the smoke downwards.</p><p>The corner of Levi's mouth curled down, "Goodness, four eyes, don't you know the meaning of 'personal'?"</p><p>She giggled and drank from her bottle again. She can't really handle her alcohol well and she gets drunk easily but she doesn't mind it much; she's surrounded by the people that she trusts the most. She took a drag again and purposefully blew a little amount of smoke on his face, to which he snarled.</p><p>"Sorry, Levi," she said, entirely insincere.</p><p>"Tch," he reached for his pocket and pulled out another cancer stick. His eyes examined the table when he didn't find his lighter from his pocket.</p><p>"Have you seen my lighter?" he asked Erwin, who was engrossed in a political discussion with Pyxis, the Senior Manager of Marketing department. Erwin shrugged.</p><p>Levi faced Hange, only to see her already looking at him, the cigarette between her lips. She grinned maniacally, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively and Levi sighed, knowing he had no choice since his lighter was nowhere to be found. Putting the stick to his mouth, he leaned towards the brunette until his cigarette bumped the lit end of hers. He inhaled deeply, exhaling through his nose and repeated the process. The bespectacled woman did the same and she tried not to get distracted that his face is so close to hers, that his eyes were like the color of the sky when it was about to rain. She fought down her blush and focused her eyes on their cigarettes.</p><p>Levi immediately leaned back once his stick was lit, taking a deep drag, while Hange gulped down the contents of her beer. She reached for another bottle from the ice bucket.</p><p>"Oi, Hange, careful. Who's gonna bring you back to your apartment?" he asked.</p><p>She gave him a grin as she opened the bottle, "You, of course."</p><p>He raised an eyebrow, "Ah? And who said that I'll do that?" he demanded.</p><p>She laughed, the alcohol having its effect on her, "Levi, Levi, Levi," she said in a sing-song voice, "You already know the drill! You drink, you don't get drunk because of whatever is in your body. I drink, I get shit-faced because I'm lightweight. Face it, clean freak, you're now my designated driver."</p><p>The raven-haired glared at her, "I'm going to leave your drunk ass here in this bar, mark my words."</p><p>She laughed again and took a last drag from her cigarette before stubbing it in the ashtray. She finds everything funny now: from Levi fanning the smoke away from him, Pyxis attempt of flirting with the waitress, Auruo's tongue biting, Gelgar's wails at losing, Petra winning the bet, Mike's attempt at flirting with Nanaba. It's definitely the alcohol.</p><p>"Don't be mean, Levi! I know you love me!"</p><p>Due to her drunken state, she missed the way that the man stiffened slightly at her words.</p><p>"Shut your mouth, shitty glasses," he said tensely, "I'm wondering if your brain turned to shit and made you spit nonsense."</p><p>She pouted and drank.</p><p>"Oi, slow down," he berates. She merely stuck her tongue out and took another drink.</p><p>She didn't expect Levi to scoot his chair closer to hers, taking a hold of her ponytail and turning her face towards his. In a second, she found herself staring straight at the blue gray eyes of the short man. His mouth was in a straight line, obviously displeased at being ignored.</p><p>"I said slow down, four eyes," he said, his breath smelling like mint and beer and cigarettes and his eyes flashing with annoyance. She blinked, a feeling of déjà vu settling in her chest.</p><p>She blinked again and an image flashed behind her lids. Levi holding the back of her he<em>ad, wearing a khaki jacket over a green cloak, looking at her with the same displeased expression, his hand on her ponytailed hair as he leaned over his horse to reach her – </em></p><p>
  <em>Wait, horse?</em>
</p><p>Hange blinked again and saw Levi still looking at her with those eyes, except his eyes now had a tinge of concern.</p><p>"The hell is wrong with you, four eyes?" he asked, eyebrows furrowing slightly.</p><p>She pulled away from him and chuckled nervously, leaning back on her chair and taking a swig.</p><p>"That was nothing! Sorry about that Levi," she responded as she held the bottle on her lap. Still, Levi looked at her as if she's an <em>abnormal</em>.</p><p>She doesn't know what's happening but it feels like she's slowly losing her mind.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. If this one wasn't enough</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Hange looked at herself in the mirror and barely recognized the person looking back at her. Her hair was freshly washed and tied up in a somewhat neat ponytail, her face free from dirt, oil and ink that always gets in her face whenever she writes. Her coat ironed and her yellow button-down shirt crisp underneath the dark green fabric. Her injured eye was still wrapped in a bandage but she's thinking of replacing it soon with a neater looking eye-patch. The only piece missing is the bolo tie, customary for commanders to bear around their necks, which will be awarded by the queen later. Her solitary eye looked back at her without any luster, without any joy. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She looked at herself up and down at the mirror, wondering when she ever cared about her physical appearance and thought, 'I'm not fit for this.'</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She sighed and turned away from the mirror. She shoved the feeling of self-pity, of inadequacy, of fear to the very bottom corner of her mind as she readied herself for the day. She had a duty to do and that is to be the Commander of the Survey Corps.</em>
</p><p>"<em>Four eyes," a voice from her doorway said.</em></p><p>
  <em>She looked up, startled, and saw Levi leaning against the doorframe of her room. He was wearing the same green coat as hers, his cravat looking pristinely white in the midmorning sunlight. His eyes looked bored but she can see the underlying tones of concern, of sadness, of regret dancing in his tired eyes. Ever since their return from Shiganshina, the circles around his eyes had darkened considerably and it looked like he aged a decade after the whole fiasco.</em>
</p><p>'<em>We both did.'</em></p><p>
  <em>She plastered a grin on her face, "Good morning, Levi!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He frowned and entered her room, "Are you constipated or something? You're taking your fucking time."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She waved a hand and glanced at her newly claimed desk, still cluttered with Erwin's things, and busied herself with arranging them again, just so she didn't have to look at his eyes, "Yeah, sorry about that! I'll get down there soon, I just have to find something. You can wait for me down there, Levi."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A pale hand reached out and took hold of her left wrist, stopping its jerky motions and turning her body to face him. She stared at him and saw his blue gray eyes burning holes into her soul.</em>
</p><p>"<em>Stop it, Hange," he said between clenched teeth, "Just… stop it."</em></p><p>
  <em>Her eye twitched in irritation and she snatched her hand free from his hold, "Stop what? I'm just tidying up the table. You'd like that, right?"</em>
</p><p>"<em>Shitty glasses," he spoke in a strained voice. She ignored him and continued to arrange the already tidy desk.</em></p><p>"<em>Anyway, I'm thinking of a new uniform for the Survey – "</em></p><p>"<em>Hange."</em></p><p>" – <em>Corps because we're facing a whole new set of enemies and we don't know their exact capabilities. I'm thinking of using black. For stealth, you know? That would be – "</em></p><p>
  <em>His hand slammed on the desk, making the candle-holder rattle dangerously and the pot of ink to topple, leaving a dark mess on the mahogany, dribbling down to the floor.</em>
</p><p>"<em>Shut up," he muttered with his head down, "For one second, just… shut the fuck up."</em></p><p>
  <em>She turned her head and stared at him, his hair blocking her view of his face. His shoulders went up and down with every ragged breath that he took and Hange felt disappointed in herself. She failed to see that she's not the only one who's tired, confused, grieving and wallowing in shame at the whole fucked up mess that they found themselves in and she had the gall to be selfish, leaving him to suffer alone.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She breathed deeply, "I'm sorry," she whispered so he will not hear the tremor in her voice.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He sighed and tilted his head up. For once, his eyes were unguarded, allowing her to see every single thing that he feels. Agony, fatigue, anger, shame.</em>
</p><p>"<em>Why are you doing this?" he asked breathlessly, his voice cracking in the middle of his sentence. She knows exactly what he's talking about.</em></p><p>
  <em>Ever since they returned, Hange had closed herself off, – literally and figuratively – locking herself in the office with the excuse of studying Grisha's books. She barely ate, barely slept and only came out of the room when absolutely necessary. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She's practically hiding and she knows that he knows.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hange swallowed the ball that had suddenly appeared inside her throat as tears began to form in her eye, "Because I don't know what else to do."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He ducked his head again and inhaled sharply, "I know you're scared."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her eyebrows furrowed and she bit her lip, trying to will the tears that appeared at the corner of her eye not to fall.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He continued, "We're all scared, four eyes. We never knew what was beyond these fucking walls and now we're hit with this shit storm of a situation and the truth that the whole world is actually after us."</em>
</p><p>"<em>Levi…" she mumbled.</em></p><p>
  <em>He looked up, his eyes shining with unshed tears, "We're all scared," he repeated, "But you don't have to be scared by yourself because I'm right fucking here. We're all here. I'm not Erwin who can inspire you to do something or tell you some inspirational speech or some other shit like that but I can listen. Isn't that what you told me? That friends always listen to each other? That's what friends are for, right?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her lips quivered and a sob made its way out of her mouth. That's what she told him when Isabel and Farlan died, when his entire squad was slaughtered.</em>
</p><p>"<em>You were there for me, shitty glasses," he reminded her quietly, his eyes burning with intense emotion as he gazed at her, "Allow me to be there for you, too."</em></p><p>
  <em>Her resolve crumbled and she cried, tears flowing unbidden from her eye. She felt strong arms wrap around her and she allowed herself to be cradled in his warmth as they both fell to their knees.</em>
</p><hr/><p>Hange opened her eyes slowly, her vision blurred with tears. Some have escaped from her eye<em>s </em>and are now flowing freely down the sides of her face as she lay still, gaze still focused on the ceiling as she tried to comprehend the meaning, the reason, for all of these weird dreams and flashes that's happening to her.</p><p>She wiped the tears away with the back of her hand and sat up, automatically reaching for her eye glasses by the bed side table and put them on her face. On a whim, she touched her left eye and found it intact. Closing her right eye, she swerved her head around the room, feeling foolish when she saw her things in the room. She sighed and fell back on her bed.</p><p>Could it be that she's losing her mind?</p><hr/><p>"Hange, you have a meeting with Mr. Reeves after lunch," Moblit said from the doorway as he recited her schedule for the day as noted in his tablet.</p><p>The newly appointed manager merely hummed and nodded in response, her eyes still glued on her screen. Her eyebrows were scrunched in concentration as she read the e-mails that were sent to her. A week as a manager had been going well for her, so far, although, despite Erwin's reassurances that she's doing a very great job, she still couldn't help but feel like she fell short of managing the team like Erwin did. She did manage to balance her work and studies at the same time but she's still pulling all-nighters from all the school works and the preparation of reports for work.</p><p>"Thanks, Moblit," she finally mumbled and began typing a response to a rather rude customer.</p><p>"You really should get your eyes checked, four eyes, if you think I'm your blond assistant," a deeper voice drawled. She looked up, startled, and saw Levi, holding two paper cups in his hands.</p><p>"Please tell me it's coffee," she practically pleaded as the raven-haired man put one cup on her desk. She lifted the lid and nearly squealed when she smelled the coffee goodness wafting from the cup. She lifted the cup to her lips and cautiously took a sip of the hot beverage</p><p>Her eyes widened and she put the cup down, "Caramel Macchiato? Thank you, Levi!"</p><p>Levi sat on one of the chairs in front of her desk, drinking from his own paper cup and he obviously looked pleased with himself for buying her favorite coffee. She took another sip and carefully put the cup down on the edge of her desk.</p><p>"How's the work, shitty glasses?" he asked curiously, throwing his empty cup on the bin beside her desk.</p><p>She continued to type as she answered his inquiry, "Well, so far so good, I guess? I'm still trying to learn from what Erwin did, trying to follow his steps and, honestly, I don't feel like I'm living up to what he did."</p><p>She sent the e-mail and sighed, leaning back on her chair and looking towards the bullpen, "Hey, Levi," she asked in a quiet voice, "What do the others think? Do they find me… inadequate? Or lacking?"</p><p>"Hange," he finally spoke but she stubbornly kept her eyes trained at the bullpen. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, "Look at me."</p><p>She shifted her eyes towards his.</p><p>"You've only been doing this job for a fucking week. We're not expecting you to give an inspirational speech about teamwork every Monday like Erwin did," he admonished.</p><p>"But – "</p><p>He raised his voice slightly, "I'm not yet finished. And don't tell me that you were trained for the job. You were only trained for <em>two fucking weeks.</em> Did you forget that Erwin was trained for the manager position for two <em>months? </em>And don't get me started with 'doing things like Erwin' shit. He's <em>Erwin; </em>he's a whole different person and he gets shit done on his own fucking Erwin way. You're <em>Hange; </em>you're a different person with <em>your</em> own fucking skills and <em>your </em>own fucking abilities that gets the job done. So, stop thinking that you have to be Erwin, stop this pity party of yours and face the reality that only you can manage the F&amp;A."</p><p>Hange felt absolutely scolded at the end of his tirade but she wouldn't deny the fact that what he said was true. She has to refrain herself from thinking that she should be Erwin in every aspect of their work. True, Erwin did a lot of positive things for their team but, given time, she can probably do great things for the team, too.</p><p>"Well, I really can't be Erwin since I don't spend an hour grooming my eyebrows," she joked, to which he snorted and rolled his eyes, "But seriously, Levi. Thank you. You don't know how much I needed that," she added sincerely.</p><p>He smirked, "That's what friends are for, right?"</p><p>She frowned and went silent for a moment, "That's… that's what you said to me…"</p><p>He scowled, confused, "What?"</p><p>"That's what you said to me. In my dream, anyway," she told him, still frowning.</p><p>"Tch," he clicked his tongue and stood up, "All those all-nighters are turning your brain to crap, four-eyes. Maybe you're becoming delusional," he commented as he left the office.</p><p>
  <em>What if I already am?</em>
</p><hr/><p>
  <em>She laid on her side, studying Levi's face as he slept. She watched the way he breathed in through his nose and exhaled through his slightly opened mouth. She looked at his lids, observing the way his eyes moved behind the closed lids, an indication that he's having a dream. The skin between his eyebrows were relaxed, a dark contrast to the way he scowled all day. His cheekbones looked more prominent than they used be, testament to the fact that he had lost his appetite these past few days. Lifting a hand, Hange gently brushed a few stray hairs away from his forehead, watching as his eyebrows furrowed only to relax again when she laid her palm on his cheek.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sighing, she removed her hand and laid it on the bed, shivering as the cold night air blew through the open window and caressed her bare skin. She moved slowly, so as to not wake him up, and lifted the blankets from underneath her body, which she wrapped herself with immediately.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She looked at him again and felt her heart flutter, an unknown warmth spreading from her chest down to her toes. He looked so relaxed when he slept, the absence of a frown and murderous look upon his face made him look so peaceful, something that they weren't allowed to do when they're awake.</em>
</p><p><em>Tomorrow, they'll be heading off to Marley to rescue Eren from his spontaneous and idiotic plan of infiltrating the enemy land. So many things could happen tomorrow. Many soldiers from both sides may die. Many </em>civilians <em>will definitely die.</em></p><p>
  <em>She could die.</em>
</p><p>He <em>could die.</em></p><p>
  <em>Her chest tightened at the thought and she scooted closer to him, to feel the warmth being emitted by his body, an indication that he's still alive: warm and breathing. Whatever feelings she harbored for the Captain is something that shouldn't get in the way of their mission. They're soldiers, first and foremost, before they became friends, who later became… whatever it is that they're doing right now. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>(Passionate kisses exchanged in a dark corridor, in a closet, in her office. Late night visits that usually occurred in his room or hers or her office.)</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hange gently shifted and laid on her stomach, watching the way his bare chest went up and down with every steady breath that he took. She brought her hand up and put her palm flat on the center of his chest, feeling his chest go up and down, feeling his heart beating steadily under her hand. Unbidden, the thought of when his lungs would stop drawing in oxygen came to her mind and she sighed, her mind crashing back to reality. They're soldiers and soldiers are the first ones to get injured, the first ones to be killed. But when she looks at him, peaceful for the first time this day, she found out that she couldn't care less. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She'll take any little pleasure and affection that he's willing to give her, as long as she's allowed to.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She scooted closer to him and laid her head on top of his chest, ear right above his heart and, in the silence of the night, she can actually hear the comforting sound of his heart beating. She was startled when his arm moved and wrapped around her shoulders. She relaxed and looked up, her chin on his chest. His eyes were still closed but she knows that he's already awake.</em>
</p><p>"<em>Can't sleep?" he murmured in a gentle voice that only Hange is allowed to hear, eyes still shut.</em></p><p>"<em>Mm-mmh," she affirmed. She pushed herself up on one elbow and her right hand drifted towards the back of his head, gently caressing the hair of his undercut.</em></p><p>
  <em>He opened his eyes, still bleary with sleep, but he managed, "Go to sleep, four eyes. We have a long day tomorrow to get a brat from the other side of the world."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She chuckled, her right hand going down to his shoulder, and settled her head back on top of his chest as his hand began to draw invisible circles on her naked shoulder. They were quiet for a long time and Hange can feel the words lodging itself on her throat, trying to force its way out. She tried to swallow them, to almost no avail.</em>
</p><p>"<em>Hey, Levi," she whispered. </em></p><p>"<em>Hmm?"</em></p><p>
  <em>(I love you)</em>
</p><p><em>But she can't say those words out loud. They're soldiers, for fuck's sake. Love is not something that the Commander and the Captain of the Survey Corps can give a care about. Their priority is saving their people and saving themselves; they can't possibly fit </em>love <em>somewhere in between.</em></p><p>"… <em>stay alive."</em></p><p>
  <em>A beat of silence.</em>
</p><p>"<em>Likewise, four eyes."</em></p><hr/><p>She stared at her ceiling, mind reeling, unblinking, unthinking.</p><p>She's afraid that she'll start to disconnect from the world.</p><hr/><p>Hange gnawed at her bottom lip as she read the article before shaking her head and closing the tab, only to type another search inquiry. Her fingers tapped the desk thoughtfully as she read another article regarding meanings of dreams and flashes. She clicked the mouse and opened another tab of article.</p><p>She started seeing flashes of her and Levi even when she's wide awake and doing the most random thing. She would be typing up an e-mail and she would see Levi standing in the sand; then she would blink and the image is gone. She'd listen to Moblit rattle off her schedule and then she's seeing an image of a Levi kissing her. She'd be talking to the interns and she would falter in her speech when she sees a chuckling Levi. She would be…</p><p>The list goes on and it's driving her insane.</p><p>She clicked her tongue and glanced at the clock. It's almost seven in the evening. She would have gone to class two hours ago but her only professor for the night had informed the class that he would not be coming in for the next few days due to an emergency. With that, she decided to stay in the office to do a bit more work and then do a little research on her current 'situation'.</p><p>A full month of this shit is a month too long for Hange.</p><p>She glanced at the bullpen. Most employees had already gone home and only a handful were left to finish some work that they didn't want to do in the morning. Levi was already gone from his cubicle, so is her other friends.</p><p>She felt a flutter in her heart at the thought of Levi. These past few days had been… bizarre to her. The fact that she's seeing all these flashes that involves her and Levi doing… things – which are not all innocent – is doing something in her mind and it made her heart do a little jump every time he steps close to her. It's confusing her because she doesn't know if <em>this</em> is real or if it's her daydreams making her feel this way and she can't exactly tell the man all about her flashes.</p><p>She shook her head and started to read the article.</p><p>It was a story of a man who was involved in some sort of an accident who lived a different life while in coma. Apparently, he lived a whole different life of ten years – which is only a few minutes, in reality – while unconscious. He met a lady, who he married, and had two children with her when he noticed the peculiarity of their lamp. He studied the lamp for days before it occurred to him that his life is fake: his job, his wife, his children are all fake scenarios and people.</p><p>She blinked and leaned back on her seat, rubbing her chin thoughtfully. Could it be that she's having the same experience?</p><p>She leaned forward again, intent on finishing the article, when an immense pain erupted behind her left eyebrow. She gasped, not expecting the sudden onslaught of pain and a hand went up to press against her temple. She tried to massage it to relieve the pain but no positive result was produced. A small whimper escaped her lips and she closed her eyes tightly. Big mistake.</p><p>She saw a person lying motionless on the grass by the riverbank, obvi<em>ously thrown back by an explosion of some sort. She walked closer and found out that it was Levi, his face badly damaged and splinters of wood still stuck deep on his cheeks. His body is no good either; she spotted numerous bleeding coming from his torso, arms and legs.</em></p><p>She opened her eyes and gasped. The excruciating pain had vanished, gone as quickly as it came. Her eyes drifted wildly around her desk, swiping aside papers and folders and, finally, her hand snatched her phone once she found it. She stood up and dialed Levi's number, pacing the room as she waited for him to answer.</p><p>"Hey four eyes," he said once he picked up the call, "What's – "</p><p>"I need to see you," Hange managed to choke out around the ball of anxiety that had formed itself in her throat, "<em>Please, </em>Levi," she pleaded, her voice trembling.</p><p>"I'm just in the parking lot. I'm coming right up," he said, his voice uncharacteristically worried and confused before he dropped the call.</p><p>Hange sighed and sat back down. She leaned her elbows on her knees, burying her face in her hands. It's irrational,<em> she's </em>being irrational and foolish, she knows that, but she needs to see him, needs to know that he's okay and not as she saw him in that weird fucking image. She can't bear the thought that he would ever be in that state.</p><p>"Hange."</p><p>She looked up and saw Levi standing before her. He already took off his neck tie and was slightly out of breath; he obviously ran from the elevator to her office. He was looking at her hunched form, worry and concern etched on his face.</p><p>She sighed in relief and, before she could stop herself, she reached out and drew him closer to her. Wrapping her arms around his torso, she buried her face on his stomach and ignored his protests.</p><p>"Oi, four eyes! What the fuck?!" he exclaimed as he tried to loosen her grip on him. She tightened her arms around him slightly.</p><p>"Please, Levi," she whispered against him as she felt tears escape her eyes and he stopped his struggles, "Just this once, <em>please </em>humor me and listen to what I have to say."</p><p>In a shaky voice, she told him what she saw. How damaged his whole body was, how the green fabric of his cloak was tattered and bloodied beyond recognition. She described the state of his barely recognizable face in graphic detail, his bloody and mangled state now ingrained in her mind. All the while, Levi listened, letting her head rest against him and his hands rubbed comfortingly up and down her shoulder.</p><p>She couldn't admit it to herself but she was scared: scared of what she saw, of what it could possibly mean, of what is <em>happening</em> to her. She considered herself as a rational person, always able to come up with logical and scientific explanation to things that are going around her life but she couldn't, for the life of her, find a substantial meaning and plausible interpretation for the fucked-up predicament that she found herself in.</p><p>There is one explanation, though, that she couldn't bear to face: the possibility of her mind snapping and that she's already going insane.</p><hr/><p>When Hange had calmed down a bit and managed to compose herself, Levi let go of her and knelt in front of her. He put one hand on her knee and stared at her intently, his eyes boring into hers with intensity. Her eyes studied his face, trying to see any evidence of a bleeding gash or a slashed cheek, searching for an injury that was never there in the first place.</p><p>"Hange, I'm right here," he said in a low voice, "Nothing's going to happen to me here. I'm alright, I'm whole and I'm not gonna let anything happen to me."</p><p>She bit her quivering lip and nodded, eyes still tracing his cheeks.</p><p>He clicked his tongue and grabbed her hand, placing her palm flat on his warm and definitely unblemished cheek, "You see, four eyes? There's nothing wrong with my face."</p><p>"Sorry about that, Levi," she whispered, her thumb running over his smooth cheekbone by its own accord, "I was just… I was so<em> worried.</em>"</p><p>He sighed, putting his hand on top of hers that was still against his cheek, "And there's nothing for you to worry about. I'm alright," he repeated and stood up, his hand still holding hers, "What you need to do now is to rest. It's probably all those stress from the fucking promotion that's getting to your brain. Come on, I'll drive you to your place."</p><p>It was her turn to sigh, trying to ease the tension and anxiety still residing inside her chest, "Okay," she exhaled and mustered up enough strength to smile up at him, "Thank you, Levi."</p><p>"Tch," was his only response. He grabbed her bag, which was hanging behind her chair and pulled her up. In a rare show of chivalry, Levi had offered to carry her backpack, filled with her university books, and complained to the weight of it and she only laughed. She snatched her phone from the desk where she tossed it and turned off the lights of her office on their way out. The employees at the bullpen were already gone and it appears that they were the only two left of their department. The elevator ride from their office at the 18th floor to the parking lot was filled with small talk about their day and Hange wasn't complain when he didn't let go of her hand.</p><hr/><p>It hit her like a ton of bricks.</p><p>She was doing nothing in particular, just reviewing a report that was sent by Mike about his team's productivity and typing up points for them to improve when her eyes suddenly widened at the onslaught of memories that invaded her mind.</p><p><em>She remembered gigantic creature, </em>Titans<em> her mind named.</em></p><p>
  <em>She remembered her Titan subjects, Albert and Chikatilo, Sawney and Bean.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She remembered Eren's Titan form, Mikasa's abilities, Armin's intelligence, Sasha's love for food, Jean's cockiness, Connie's obliviousness.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She saw Erwin naming her as the next Commander of the Survey Corps.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She recalled the events of Shiganshina: the recon mission, Erwin's death, Bertholdt's death.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her mind conjured the four years of preparation against possible attack from Marley.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Levi's passionate kisses, gentle caresses and low whispers in the dead of the night.</em>
</p><p><em>Levi's injured state, caused by the thunder spear that </em>she <em>designed. Escaping the Yeagerists and their pursuers.</em></p><p>
  <em>The ground Rumbling.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Tending to Levi. Imagining a life with him in the forest as she felt all's lost.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Creating the Alliance.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Preparing their escape to port.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Feeling the ground shaking, rumbling beneath their feet.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Appointing Armin as the 15</em>
  <em>th</em>
  <em> Commander of the Survey Corps.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Facing Levi's broken form as she prepared to sacrifice herself.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She kept her eye from looking at him for fear that her resolve would crumble and fall the moment she met his eye. They match now, she thinks morbidly.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She doesn't want to do this. No, what she wants to do is to lay down with Levi at the forest, the fire and their shared body heat enough to keep them warm. She wants to build a new life with him where they have no worries, no responsibilities; a life that she longed for with him for as long as she can remember.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hange wanted to tell him so many things. She wants to tell him her favorite moments of the two of them. She wants to tell him that she always wanted to see the ocean with just him as her company. She wants him to know how much his existence meant to her, to tell him that the scope of her concern for him goes beyond camaraderie, beyond friends, hell even beyond lovers. There's no proper label for what the two of them shared. She wants to tell him many, many more things, an entire galaxy of testament that she wants him to know.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She had no other choice. She's the Commander, she brought them this far and she'll be damned if she doesn't do her job.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She stepped close to him and spoke in a low voice, "You understand. It's finally here, you know?" she asked rhetorically, hoping that he didn't notice the way her words were choked, "It's my turn. I want to look as cool as I possibly can right now. So just let me go, will you?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He was silent for a long time before he raised a fist and gently placed it on the center of her chest, right above her heart.</em>
</p><p>"<em>Devote… your heart," he whispered in a broken voice.</em></p><p>
  <em>Her eye widened, tears appearing on the corner of her eye and her lip quivered as she felt her heart burst with emotions. She wants to embrace him, to feel his warmth against her body for the last time, to feel his still beating heart against her palm the way she had done for so many nights. It seemed like an eternity ago and she would give anything to go back to those quiet nights, where their breaths and their whispers and their beating hearts were the only thing that she can hear.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But she has a job to do.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She knows him better than anyone and she's confident that he will live. But he already faced so many losses, so many deaths in his life that she's quite certain that he will have a heart beating to the tune of death. She's being selfish, she knows that, but she knows her duty as the last act of being the Commander.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She pulled away with difficulty and tried to joke at the gesture that he made but she knows that it's futile.</em>
</p><hr/><p>She gasped and began to pant, her eyes darting around her office and the bullpen. This is not her world. Her world is being stomped on by the Wall Titans and she had to go back. She <em>can </em>go back, right? She just had to do something, something that can –</p><p>Her eyes widened when she remembered the article she read. That man who had a delusion about having wife and kids. Perhaps she can go back to her real world by dying in this one, by escaping this reality that her mind had devised. She had to go back and help the kids and the Alliance. She had to go back to her reality and take care of Levi because who will do it in her absence? She can go to the rooftop right now and test her theory. But she had to do something first.</p><p>She called the telephone at Levi's desk. No response.</p><p>With trembling fingers, she reached for her phone and dialed his personal cell. Only the incessant ring was heard. She cursed and looked at his desk. He's not there.</p><p>She can't stay here any longer. She stood up and ran out of her office, heedless of the weird stares that she got. She doesn't care about anything like that anymore; she's coming back to her world and fulfill her duty as a soldier. She opened the Emergency Exit door, which she knew is the way to get to the rooftop and took off her stilettos, cursing when her shaking fingers failed to unclasp the straps in a single try. Once she's successful, she took the stairs to the rooftop two at a time, thanking every deity she can think of when she didn't trip or fall.</p><p>Hange pushed the door wide open, her hair blowing wildly and her eyes drawn towards the railing and she quickly made her way to her destination. She can do this. She can do –</p><p>"Shitty glasses?"</p><p>She stopped, turned to her left and saw Levi, leaning against the railing and a cigarette dangling between his fingers. She strode towards him purposefully.</p><p>"I'm on a break, want some cig – mmph!"</p><p>He was cut off when Hange's lips crashed to his, muffling his protests. She cupped his face, holding him against her as she kissed him deeply and willed him to respond. It took him a second to wrap his arms around her torso and to kiss her back but, once he did, Hange can only feel bliss. He tasted like cigarette, mint and those tea leaves that he liked to drink but Hange couldn't care less; she wants to kiss this version of Levi for the last time.</p><p>She pulled away when the need for air was too much, leaning her forehead against his and panting slightly from lack of breath.</p><p>"Hange," he began, breathless as she was, "What –"</p><p>"I was calling you," she interjected, "I wanted to talk to you."</p><p>"I left my phone at my desk. Hange, what the fuck is going on? Are you high or something?" he asked, confused and annoyed at the same time, his hands running up and down her back.</p><p>With difficulty, she pulled herself away from him and kept him at arm's length. He stepped forward but she took a step back, putting her hands on his shoulders to keep him away. His face showed heartbreak and she felt tears sting her eyes at the expression but she couldn't make this any harder for the both of them.</p><p>"Levi," she began quietly, urgently, "I have to go. I'm not from here. I need to go to my world."</p><p>His eyebrows furrowed, confusion and rage apparent in his face, "What the fuck are you talking about, four eyes?! Is your brain really that shitty now?!"</p><p>She shook his shoulders lightly, one foot stepping back, "Levi, I have to go back to my world! To the Survey Corps, to Paradis! I have to help the Alliance, to help stop the Rumbling before the Titans destroy the world! I have to go!"</p><p>"Wha-? Hange!"</p><p>She pushed him and she used his distraction to run towards the railing of the building. She placed her palms flat on the concrete and hauled herself up. She was about to raise one foot when an arm wrapped itself around her waist and pulled her back to the floor. Once she's standing on her feet, Levi gripped her arms tightly and forced her to look at him.</p><p>"Stop it, Hange!" he yelled, "Just stop it and listen to me!"</p><p>She shook her head and tried to wriggle her way out of his grasp, "No, Levi, you don't understand! I'm the Commander and I should be there to guide them! They're just kids, Levi, and they need me!"</p><p>"I said listen to me!" he roared; his face thunderous. Hange looked at his eyes and saw how agonized he is at the moment.</p><p>"Levi, please," she whispered, "Just let me go, will you?"</p><p>His grip tightened and she can already feel bruises forming on her arms, "No, Hange," he said quietly, "I will not. I won't make the same mistake again."</p><p>She stilled her movements and stared at the man before her, "You know something," she posited.</p><p>He sighed, "Just… listen to me. Please. Don't do anything rash."</p><p>He slowly let go of her arms and began to tell her <em>everything.</em></p><hr/><p>He told her every single thing: what happened after her death, what occurred in Fort Salta, what they did to stop Eren and the Rumbling.</p><p>"Those weird ass dreams and creepy flashes that you see, they're memories from our past life," he explained, "I don't know how it happened, why we're even <em>remembering </em>them but that's what happened. That's what they are."</p><p>Hange stood shell shock, her eyes wide and her mouth open, and leaned her back against the railing, still trying to make sense of the information that he's giving her. Levi stood in front of her, shoulders tensed as if preparing himself if Hange is still planning of jumping off.</p><p>"So, you mean… I… that… I really died?" she asked, looking at him with a shocked expression on her face.</p><p>He stared at her and her mind still reeled at the fact that his eyes, <em>their eyes</em>, are undamaged.</p><p>"Yes," he answered, "You died there, Hange, doing your duty as the Commander and as a soldier."</p><p>She inhaled sharply and she slid to the floor, her hands holding her head.</p><p>"You knew all along," she whispered, "I was telling you about those fucking nightmares and images and you just brushed me off. And it turns out that you knew all this time."</p><p>He sighed and knelt before her, "Hange," he said, his voice gentle, "I was still gauging your reaction. I was not sure if you'll even remember."</p><p>She sighed, "How long have you known?"</p><p>"When we were in high school," he responded, head down and looking at the floor, "It started the way it did with you. Creepy ass nightmares and those creepy flashes. Remember I was particularly snappy those days?"</p><p>She nodded as she remembered. There was even a week where he avoided her so much and wouldn't even look at her.</p><p>"Yeah, those days I was… remembering, trying to take in every memory that comes in my mind and attempting to make sense of reality. I was confused as hell too because I didn't understand why it was happening to me and why I'm suddenly remembering them when those days were long ago. I thought I was going crazy," he told her.</p><p>She clenched her jaw, "And you let me wallow in it?"</p><p>He finally raised his eyes, "And I'm so sorry about it, Hange. I thought your experience wouldn't be as bad as mine but…" he chuckled without mirth, "I guess I was wrong. I'm so sorry."</p><p>"Damn right, you are," she muttered and sighed, "I really can't be angry with you, Levi. You thought it was for the best. Does Erwin remember?"</p><p>"Only bits and pieces. He doesn't remember every single thing but he did recall you, Mike and Nanaba."</p><p>"What about them? Do they know?"</p><p>"They don't."</p><p>She nodded. She still can't wrap her mind around the fact that what she saw were her past life, that she faced a bunch of Colossal Titans, all on her own and managed to take down four.</p><p>"That was a really idiotic move, isn't it?" she asked with a chuckle.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Me, facing a bunch of enormous Titans with only two thunder spears and eight blades," she giggled.</p><p>He smirked, "Yeah but whatever. Your sacrifice… it really bought us time and it helped us escape. What you did, it was the shit that saved us."</p><p>Her eyes welled up with tears again and she opened her mouth to retort, to joke around, but he continued to speak.</p><p>"But seriously, four eyes. Don't ever fucking do something so selfless like that again," he said lowly and took her hand in between his.</p><p>"Levi…" she mumbled.</p><p>He closed his eyes tightly, as if warding off unwanted images, "You don't know… how I lived after you were gone."</p><p>When he opened his eyes, Hange was surprised to see tears, "Don't ever fucking do something like that again," he repeated, "If there's anything that needed to be solved, then we'll solve it together. No more sacrifices. We're living a good life here, right?"</p><p>She nodded.</p><p>"Your brothers are alive here, Hange, so is your parents," he said while his thumb rubbed invisible circles on the back of her hand, "My mom… she's still alive too and you know that. Kenny's still out there, probably killing his liver from all the fucking booze that he's consuming. Our friends: Erwin, Mike, Nanaba, they're right here. My squad, your squad, even the fucking brats are safe. Our reality, our world is right here, Hange. Don't you ever fucking forget that."</p><p>She stared at his eyes for what seemed like forever and smiled, turning her hand and intertwining their fingers in a promise.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A/N: you guys have no idea how many times I teared up while writing this. Im so sorry if the ending is a little open and I hope you guys enjoyed it!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: finally published my first levihan fic and, of course its a reincarnation AU (because we all know what happened in 132)</p>
<p>so thats the first part!! hope you guys liked it!!! hopefully, i'll publish the second chapter next week (if i dont procrastinate hahaha)</p>
<p>story and chapter title from florence + the machine song 'how big how blue, how beautiful'</p></blockquote></div></div>
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